My Life Off-Key by Gail Anderson-Dargatz

Author:Gail Anderson-Dargatz [Anderson-Dargatz, Gail]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781459834811
Publisher: Orca Book Publishers
Published: 2024-02-13T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

The next morning is Sunday, our sleep-in morning. But Mom knocks on the door early, too early. It doesn’t matter. I’m already awake. I didn’t sleep much last night.

“Can I come in?” she asks.

I rub my eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”

She closes the door and sits on the bed beside me. She’s wearing the same clothes she had on last night. And she looks exhausted, like she didn’t sleep either. I can tell she’s been crying. But then, I’ve been crying too.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” she asks.

“I’ve been better.”

Mom looks down at her hand, fiddling with a fold in the sheets. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you last night.”

“I understand.”

“Thanks for sitting up with Ella.”

“She’s pretty upset.”

She nods slowly. “We all are.”

I tilt my head to get her to look at me. “Mom, is Dad leaving us for good?”

“I don’t know,” she says.

I feel my chin quiver as my eyes sting. “Doesn’t he love us anymore?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Mom says. She runs a hand over my hair. “Of course he loves you.”

But I’m not even his daughter. “He’s leaving because of me,” I say.

Mom takes my hand. “No, he’s leaving because of me,” she says. “What I did eighteen years ago.”

“But that’s so long ago,” I say.

She nods. “Yes, it is.”

“Then it is because of me,” I say. “If I hadn’t been born, none of this would be happening now.”

Mom wraps her arms around me. “Please don’t think like that,” she says. “None of this is your fault.”

I don’t believe her. And either way, Dad left.

“I just don’t understand how you could keep this a secret for so long,” I say.

Mom lets out a long sigh. “I was afraid Steve would leave me over it. And now he has. But I guess I was more afraid of losing you. I wanted you here, with me.”

I sit a little straighter. “You were scared I’d go live with Mike?” There were times when I wished I could move out. When the arguments between Mom and Dad got bad. But would I have moved in with Mike? Maybe, if I had grown up knowing him.

“I was wrong,” Mom says. “I can see that now. I should have told Steve about Mike. And Mike should have been a part of your life.” She takes my hand again. “I think he would have been a good dad too.”

But I pull my hand from her grip. “Why did you start seeing Mike in the first place?” I ask. “I mean, you had only been married to Dad a couple of years, right?”

Mom nods. “Things were always bumpy between Steve and me. He was away so much with work. I started to feel like his job mattered more to him than I did.”

I snort. “I know the feeling.”

Mom smiles a little. “And then I met Mike. A friend took me to a pub where Mike was playing onstage. A solo act. Just him and his guitar. He sang his own songs, ones he had written.”

“He’s

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